Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Hillside Dream


In a tiny cabin clinging to the emerald edge
of a lush flower strewn meadow
the pale weave of Queen Anne’s lace
bobbing golden poppies
nodding at the breeze
strolling through the purple thistles
and red clover that enticed
the sweet drowsing bees
to dance a mother may I
on the deep warm air
that stirred the golden hairs on my forearm
resting in the sun on the worn wooden railing
splintering with the rise and fall of seasons
of sun and rain and knife edge frost and there,
with the meadowlarks aria,
and the bickering Stellar’s jays
and insistent tattoos of a pileated woodpecker
hammering his way into spongy old bark
and the haze of early morning fog
yet clinging to the dark pond
stirring with water skimmers
and dragonfly nymphs
here I took a breath in with my eyes
as if I had been drowning in the dark dawn
took a breath of this great blessing of stout oak
and leaning fir and long green grass
a lady bug wandering amid my arm hairs
I smelled the heat rising around me
with every beat of my heart
and gorged on the warm air again
scudding gravid clouds
at the horizon shedding promises
of rain at the grass glinting greenly
and took in that last breath
and thought
this is the only life I’ve ever known. 
God, what a thing you have done. 

Monday, November 16, 2015

For My Mother


My mother was
Up to her elbows in dish water,
Her voice husky
As she stared out the window at the evening traffic
Or at nothing.

I stood next to her, drying while she washed.

My father gone but a few short years,
It was Christmas
And the memories tugged at her apron strings,
Pulling her back to grief.

I wish I had a basketful of ironing
Just now.

The calm assurance of routine,
Chores worn into her fingers,
Her tired face.

I could say nothing just then
But felt the tears well up.
I put my arm across her shoulders,
For just a moment.

She glanced at me, saw my tears.

Oh, honey. I’m sorry.

Then.

It’s okay Mom.

Though we both knew it wasn't.

But would be someday.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Meals for the Homeless


Last evening about 15 of us from our church, Bloomfield Hills Baptist Church, went to Star Presbyterian Church in Royal Oak to help serve dinner to the homeless people sheltering there.  We made our way from the dark parking lot, up the stairs, past a few men standing outside, huddled in heavy coats, smoking, laughing.  Inside, we were directed to the church library to drop our coats, get name tags, and register.  From there we were directed to the very warm kitchen where 4 very large pots steamed and simmered on the industrial size stove.  Chicken noodle soup, carrots, corn.  And in the ovens at least 10 pans of lasagna.

Within a few minutes we had rolled up sleeves, washed our hands and picked a task.  Merry and I ladled soup into plastic bowls, set them on trays on a small metal cart, and others began rolling them out to the dining area.  Others dug into pans of lasagna and ladled them onto plates.  In the next minute men and women began streaming past the serving area.  Mostly men.  A handful of women.  They smiled as they picked plates sagging under the weight of generous servings.  There were heartfelt thank you’s, mumbled thanks, “a little more please.”  The food went fast, and within an hour most of the food was gone or nearly so.  That was our cue to uncover the trays of cookies and carry them out.  Some smiled, some asked can I have two?  Some took handfuls.  Others passed, being too full from dinner.  As I circulated, I heard, dessert?  And table service?  There was quiet laughter.  Some asked, what’s in those, pointing to the chocolate macadamia cookies.  Others asked for oatmeal, which we didn’t have.  Some made eye contact, others seemed shy, affects flat, turned inward.

I came to the last table and a large man with beautiful deep dark skin, like really strong coffee.  His beard was short, gray.   His hair covered with a stocking cap.  He looked up at me with a smile.  Saw my name tag.  “Charles in charge.” He said.   I laughed.  “I’ve never heard that before.”  He met my smile with his own, gleaming teeth white in the dark oval of his care worn face.  “My name’s Charles too,” he said.  “That’s a good name, my man.”  I said.  I extended my hand.  “Nice to meet you Charles” I said.  He looked up and took my hand in his, large, dry rough like one hard solid callus.  He squeezed ever so gently and briefly.  “Nice to meet you too.”  I held out the tray of cookies.  He helped himself to a few and looked back down at his plate.  “Thank you,” he said.  “You’re welcome.”

Something moved in me right then.  I turned away with tears welling up and a peculiar feeling in my chest. 

How can one ever know how our lives will turn, how grace will lift us, how what we have is more needed by someone else and so we give it away.  There was a roomful of men and women settling down on thin rubber mats, pulling blankets up over jeans and boots.  Probably 25 or so.  Some looked like my idea of the chronically homeless.  Slightly shabby, withdrawn.  Others were better dressed, even a bit of jewelry, make up.  A couple looked like they’d once been, maybe only a few weeks ago, steady, employed, clean shaven, well spoken, with 4 walls around them in a place that they called home. 

I went back into the kitchen and helped clean up.  We chatted with the pastor of Star and our pastor, Dr. McKay.  We watched diners return for more coffee. Reflected on the opportunity to serve those less fortunate than ourselves, and how many of them showed such genuine gratitude. 

There but for the grace of God go I, I thought.  We made our way to the library, retrieved our coats.  Accepted thanks from church staff and made our way outside.  There, bundled against the 20 degree chill, half a dozen men, smoked, chatted quietly.  I asked if they’d gotten enough to eat. 

Oh yes, said one.  We kept walking, bundled into the car, backed out around mounds of snow 4-5 feet tall, and turned for home. 

Tonight Merry and I had lasagna.  We sat in the carpeted family room, filled up on salad and pasta, a small glass of wine, then cookies for dessert.  And I thought of a homeless man named Charles. 

Maybe he’s still at Star Presbyterian.  Maybe he moved on.  But I hope he’s warm.  I hope others, like Merry and I, are blessed to reach out to him with the abundance that we have been given, and thus bless him.  I hope he’s safe.

Charles in charge. 

It was nice to meet you Charles. 

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Sunday, February 27, 2011


Uncle Ralph is gone. At the age of 90, he went home to be with the Lord. His funeral was simple with a small crowd come to pay their last respects. Family, friend, members of his church. We sang Amazing Grace and Great is Thy Faithfulness and a minister said kind words about Ralph. but more importantly, the minister preached the gospel of salvation, which we came to understand, Ralph lived and breathed. A handful of us went to the graveside where a prayer was said. Then, two men in full dress US Army uniforms, presided. They folded the flag down to a tight triangle and presented it to Ralph's oldest daughter, Gayle. And offered the following,..."This flag is presented on behalf of a grateful nation, and the United States Army as a token of appreciation for your loved one's honorable and faithful service."

I felt a tear burn in my eye and a lump in my throat. And then Taps was played. What is it about that simple and haunting melody that stirs my heart? Is it the memory of hearing it at sundown while we lived at Fort Holabird, and all activity ceased and even traffic stopped? Does it conjure in my mind the sacrifice of so many men and women who served in the military? I don't really know.

But, see you later Uncle Ralph. Farewell for now. See you again. We love you.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Next Door


Next door, the neighbors are playing
Red Light, Green Light with their kids
Whose bright laughter carries over the rooftops
The summer air is heavy, damp
And the maples hang weary branches over the lawn.
Even the bumblebees amid the catnip sound tired
High summer, hot
And the best thing to do is play lawn games
Or drink iced tea in the hammock

Gray Autumn Skies


Autumn and the gray skies
Settle upon the woods
Now ending the utter riot of color
As leaves slip gently to fragrant earth
And go rattle-dancing with the wind

The fields are pale with ripening grain
And the harvesters move in
To strip the bounty from the soil.

Autumn, and my thoughts are of winter
Already
Just too close
And my blankets on the couch
Bring little warmth
Soft as they are.

Gray skies, like tired flannel,
Dreary like unwanted memories
Cold like unrequited love.